The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink

• To what degree do you believe that you repress your sexual fantasies? How would you benefit from being more open and exploratory? Does repressing sexual desires result in a lack of authenticity?

• Do you prefer romantic relationships with clear power imbalances or do you strive for equality in most areas?

• Does suffering always play some sort of role in pleasure?

• Do you feel a thrill when violating taboos and engaging in something forbidden (ordinarily viewed as immoral or evil)?

• What constitutes normal sexuality and to what degree is “normal” important to you?

• What do you think makes anything a mental illness?

• What are your thoughts on the paradox mentioned by the author that people who practice BDSM are generally well-adjusted people, but BDSM needs to remain an unsettling fringe phenomenon to retain its vitality?

• Does psychological analysis, particularly when it comes to sex, make sex more fulfilling or can over-analysis ruin something in some way?

• Have you found that BDSM & kink is a way to confront fears?

• Does western society do us a disservice in the focus on self-reliance, independence, individuality, and so on? Does BDSM help us address this in some way?

• What are your ethical concerns when it comes to BDSM & kink?

• Do you think we try to deny the power dynamics that exist in our day-to-day relationships? Is there some sort of truth that comes out in BDSM play?

• If you are experienced in BDSM & kink, do you find it important to maintain one particular role or are you just as comfortable switching roles?

• What are the benefits of surrendering and a sort of ego death?

• Is there something inherently erotic about the taboo?

• Can consensual sexual activity between adults (not including having an affair) be immoral? What makes something consensual immoral? How do you determine where to draw the line?

• Does BDSM & kink provide opportunities for personal/spiritual growth? Can it be a form of therapy and/or a religious experience?

• Have you had mostly positive or negative experiences when it comes to BDSM?

• What is alluring about either the dominant or submissive role? What are potential drawbacks of either role?

• Does BDSM & kink reveal deeper truths about your nature & human nature in general?

• Can suffering/degradation be pleasurable & psychologically valuable despite the culture stating otherwise? What is the difference between good suffering & bad suffering?

• How do you confront your own shadow? Do you notice how you project your own shadow onto others?

• Do you believe you are able to openly challenge societal norms, or do you have biases that seem difficult to overcome?

• What might BDSM & kink tell us about love?